My husband, Cliff Lum, has always lived by the code of helping others, just because. He is the consummate volunteer having been a basketball and bowling coach for Special Olympics, little league coach, Boys Scouts leader and a good friend who would help others at a moment’s notice. As a social worker for regional center he trained parents to deal with their special needs children. He went back to Chapman College to become an elementary school teacher and had been working as a special education teacher for children with learning disabilities.
On October 20, 2007, my athletic husband went on a 50 mile bicycle ride with the Boy Scouts. He left at 8:00 a.m. in a good mood and excited that the scouts would finish their bicycle merit badge that day. At 10:30 a.m., our friend Sheri came by to take me to UCI Medical Center because Cliff had a heart attack. We later found out he had also sustained a severe brain injury from a fall during the heart attack. I remember having to deal with so many decisions while he remained in a coma for a month. His students made a tape of jokes and songs, which we played for him daily. His friends sent “Cliff Stories” which reflected how funny he was and well wishes for his recovery.
A measure of a man is not by how much money he generates, but is reflected in the wealth of friends. We received so much support from family, friends and the members of our community. People wanted to help in any way possible, to give back what they felt Cliff had given them. I heard daily from people that he was being prayed for by members of many faiths; from Buddhist, Christian to Muslim. The prayers worked and Cliff woke up from his coma recognizing the family. The prayers also helped to keep our whole family afloat.
He remained in the hospital for six months and came home April 2008. It has been an adjustment of rearranging the house to accommodate his hospital bed, wheelchair, stander and other adaptive equipment. As a family, we have worked as a team to provide the medical care he needs, as he is still dependent on us to do things most people take for granted. Our goal is to help Cliff become independent as possible. He attends High Hopes Head Injury Program and he gets daily speech therapy. The long range goal is to see him return to teaching some day. His students still contact him with cards, and hope that he would be back soon.
The reality is that recovery from a brain injury is a long term process. It comes with daily hard work, emotional struggles with depression, frustration, and desire for a normal life. Our sons, Chris and Nick, have been amazing with the love and care they give to their father. It has matured them to become selfless young men.
Cliff has so much to teach others, which is why he is still with us today. I encourage everyone to complete an advanced healthcare directive in order to maneuver the medical system easier in times of hardship.
http://ag.ca.gov/consumers/general/adv_hc_dir.htm
Head injury resource information:
http://www.brainandspinalcord.org
and http://www.tbisca.org/service-sites/sc-stjude.asp .
I learned to advocate for Cliff’s right to access public areas, like schools, restaurants, parks and theaters. I learned that it is okay to reach out to friends and families for support. And if you ever become a caregiver, please schedule time to rest and recharge in order to have the energy to continue. We have hope for a brighter future as Cliff continues on his journey to recovery.